Do what we must or what they ask?

I've just finished up with someone who wanted me to work with her crreating a new interior for her families living space and after about 40 hours of discussions she said that my view of life is incredibly distorted.

And it must be, distorted, because I'll always go for what feels right over what people actually want because the two are often very far apart. I think that's it's all this literature and TV out there now that makes people think they're experts in given fields, or at least knowledgeable enough to know what suits them, so they think they know what's best for them. That's all well and good if they're prepared for the consequences but most people aren't so the job of anyone who is knowledgeable in any given field is to try and ascertain what a person wants within the deepest part of them and come up with solutions that allow those needs to be met.

To illustrate that this person I was working with wanted to impress people and have them think she was elegant and stylish through the choices she was making and if I had done what she asked I would have been paid but she would have ended up even more insecure in herself as the outer facade became another barrier behind which the real her could not be seen or given time to expand within. Just a new layer of protection against becoming what her heart truly desires.

Whereas I believe I saw what she wanted which was to have an interior environment which would allow her to grow in strength because the choices made for seats and shelves and floor coverings were an admittance of the true life she led and that this admittance of truth of what we are is what builds our confidence and therefore has people admiring us for those choices based in honesty.

But not just the honesty of what we are as individuals but the acknowledgement of shared spaces within a family that allow the inherent strengths and weaknesses of each member to find the space to be themselves and grow against and within that sharing of a space.

The trouble with such lofty sentiments of possibility is that I can't explain in logical details why the solutions I come up with are valid because the way they come to me are without a planned and implemented process of deduction. They are just visions that come into my head and feel so right that to deny them validity would be silly.

So now after forty odd hours of being told my powers of observation are acute and my perception of underlying values were uncannily defining I now have a distorted view of reality...

Why? Because I suggested this woman needed to see a therapist. Because in the final few hours I finally met the husband and viewed a dynamic, between husband and wife, that was sorely in need of fixing and carrying on with my work with them would bring a crisis neither of them wanted but both of them actually required.

Now I have to go out with a van load of stuff and sit in a cold carpark in Grey Lynn and see if I can find any other individuals willing to bring me into their lives offering things that will helpfully enable them to be more of what they really are... yup, I'm definitely distorted!